So Many Hats, too Little Time...
Sorry for the break in my blogging. I took a couple of days to enjoy my family and my Mother’s day. I have to hand it to my family; they went all out for me and I just love them so much for the love they always give me. Now that I’m done with all the mushy stuff…
Just like the image above shares, I’m a very busy lady. After my little break this weekend, I wouldn’t mind having some more down time. It’s a non-stop ride that’s only been revving up since I’ve added writing as a profession to join my nursing career. When I started this venture a few years ago I had it all figured out in my head. I thought, “How hard could it be? I’ll just write in my down time and sleep when I’m dead.” That plan even worked for a while. I was able to finish with my first novel between being a wife, parent, nurse and taking a full course load in college. Now that I thinking of how much I was doing, I’m surprised it didn’t take me a decade to finish my book. However, I was and still am fully aware that if my team didn’t have my back, I most likely would’ve failed.
Most people didn’t even know that I was writing a book. I treated it like a dirty secret that had to remain under wraps, which made the few that did know have to hear me ramble on and on about it, poor them. So, I went on like that for a long time. Writing papers for school and writing my book on the side and my house managed not to turn into a war zone.
When I finished my book I was champing at the bit to jump into the deep end of the pool. That was also just about the time that I started to feel like “time” had begun to really hate me. Sometime between my blog, promoting my first novel, trying to finish my second novel, maintaining my wife-duties, and keeping the kids alive; I think?
I started feeling like I just might go crazy. Luckily I took a semester off from school to concentrate on this venture, but I have the sneaking suspicion that the book release alone would’ve been enough to fill my days. So I still felt behind.
But somehow I managed to get most of everything done and still fit in a family trip; I might have only broken down into tears three times through the whole process… Okay four, if I count the time I cried because our dog, Sam, looked at me as if I was ignoring her too.
I guess that’s what gets to me the most, that I just don’t have enough time. I want everything to keep a standard level of togetherness and when it looks like it’s not going to happen, my emotional scale becomes slightly unhinged. Except take out the “slightly” part of the previous sentence. I’m used to having everything run in a certain way and I have no one to blame but myself why that’s not the case. That’s a hard pill for a mom to swallow. And of course the kids know what buttons to push to get the guilt flowing. They get more things out of me now than they’ve ever gotten from Santa.
Then again, that’s how it goes when you have a dream and you feel it in your DNA to give it all you have. I hope my children can learn and see that nothing is out of their reach just as long as they believe in themselves, giving it your all. I just have to learn not to be as hard on myself and pay more attention to the love and fun that’s always present in the messy-mess of life. I should start looking at the different “hats” I wear as life-fashion statements and whatever it brings, one thing I will never have room for is boredom.
Here’s to all the mothers and our lack of boredom life brings! Happy Monday everyone.